Horrible Realization
by Gaia Less
Summary: Mulder realizes something very important... but is it too late? Mulder's thoughts at the end of Milagro.


horriblerealization

TITLE: Horrible Realization  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
EMAIL: gaiascully42@yahoo.com  
RATING: PG  
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance  
SPOILERS: Milagro  
SUMMARY: Mulder realizes something very important... but is it too late? Mulder's thoughts at the end of Milagro.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me... :)  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
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Horrible Realization  
by Gaia Less  
  
Oh, God. What was that?  
  
The shots ring out again and again.  
  
I run upstairs, forgetting about Padgett, and worrying only about Scully.  
  
My shoes clap the floor noisily. With every hurried step, that's all I hear. Clap-clap-clap-clap. Scul-ly-Scul-ly.  
  
Oh, God. Something awful has happened. Why is the elevator taking so long, why can't it go faster? Everything is in slow motion... every second seems to take an eternity. Oh, God... please don't let Scully be hurt... or d--... I can't even think the word.  
  
I throw the door to my apartment open, and see Scully lying on the floor, covered in blood. Oh, God... am I too late... please don't say I'm too late...  
  
I drop to my knees next to her. Her chest is covered with blood. I stare at the blood, fearing the worst.  
  
With horrible realization, I realize that she looks dead. And... and she never knew... how much I loved her--how much I love her. Oh, no, please, God, no...  
  
Scully, I really do love you... please don't die... please, please...  
  
It takes so much control to keep myself from screaming out at the sight of blood all over everything... Scully's blood...  
  
Suddenly, her eyes snap open and she shudders, like she's been startled out of a deep sleep and a nightmare. She stares up at me for a split second. Then she starts to sob uncontrollably, and sits up. I hold her tightly, whispering softly to her, It's okay... it's okay...  
  
She's alive... God, she's alive... What would I have done, though, if she was still laying there, unconscious--or worse, on the floor of my apartment? How would I have ever handled it if she was dead? How could I possibly survive without her?  
  
Scully cries and cries. I don't do anything to stop her. She's so scared... and I am too. After so long, we're both sitting there on the floor of my apartment, crying and holding onto each other for comfort and safety.  
  
Eventually she stops. She doesn't let go of me, though. My God, Mulder... she whispers.   
  
I was so scared, Scully... I heard the shots, and... I was afraid you were...  
  
Mulder... I thought he killed me... I...  
  
  
  
I don't know! I think... Padgett's... character... acomplice... I don't know...  
  
Padgett wrote something in his novel... I don't know what, Scully... he burned it––  
  
Good. Thank God. It's over now.  
  
I sigh and hold her closer. Neither of us know what to say. Eventually, Scully relaxes in my arms, and I realize she's asleep.  
  
I carefully pick her up and carry her to the couch. I lay her down and start to pull a blanket over her. But I stop. My eyes land on the dried blood still all over her shirt. I touch the stain on the perfectly white shirt with the tips of my fingers. Is she in pain? Is she hurt? She hasn't said anything, and she stopped bleeding... but I don't even know if she's cut or anything.  
  
I walk into the other room and grab a t-shirt for her to change into. Then I walk back out into the living room where she's still asleep.  
  
Warily, carefully, I start to unbutton the shirt. Underneath, her skin is spotted with blood––her blood, I'm sure of it––but there's no cuts or abrasions anywhere.  
  
Her eyes blink open and she sits up. She looks surprised. What are you...  
  
I... sorry... I didn't want to wake you. I just... I wanted to get the bloody shirt off you...  
  
Mulder... I just want to go home... Tears form in her eyes as she pleads with me silently.  
  
Sure. Yeah. Okay. Come on. I take her hand and pull her to her feet.   
  
I hand her the t-shirt and she quickly changes into it. Thank you. She looks up at me, and our eyes meet. Then she takes my hand again and we walk out of the apartment.  
  
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Scully and I walk into her apartment together. She yawns. I'm so tired, she whispers.  
  
I know... come on, let's get you to bed.   
  
She holds onto my arm drunkenly and I walk with her into her bedroom. She crawls into the bed and I tuck the covers around her. Then I lean down and kiss her forehead. She sighs and closes her eyes. Then she opens them again and looks up at me. I smooth her hair down gently. Get some sleep. Okay?  
  
She nods at me tiredly. she whispers.  
  
I'll be in the living room. I start to stand.  
  
she says. She grabs my hand. Please don't go, Mulder.  
  
I hesitate for a moment before sitting back down. Okay. I'm not going anywhere, Scully.  
  
She looks up at me with a look I've never seen on her face. She suddenly looks very weak and vulnerable.   
  
I promise. She takes a deep breath, and lets it out shudderingly, as if she's going to cry. I lay down next to her, holding her small, frail body close to me. I want to protect her from everything... I know she won't let me, because that's how she is... but I don't know what I'd do if I lost her, hadn't helped her in any way, failed to keep her safe.  
  
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, and immediately think of how Scully's heart had almost been ripped out––literally. After a moment, I whisper to her, I love you.  
  
She doesn't answer. She's already asleep.  
  
THE END


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